The Boys In The Bar: 08. Love Means Never Having To Say Your Story

Wit hated Air Asia. Not that he’d ever been on a plane, much less one of the low cost carrier’s. But he was familiar enough with their record to know the plane would be late. Again. He was already anxious as it was. Seeing ‘DELAYED’ flash at him from the Arrivals board wasn’t helping matters. Paul, aka The Doctor, was on that plane. And Wit could barely contain himself at the idea of seeing him again.

Wit was used to the departures area at Suvarnabhumi, seeing a farang customer off was kinda the holy grail for a bar boy. First, you actually knew he was gone. And second, a few well placed tears always meant the farang would empty his pockets of left over baht and hand them your way. After getting taxi money for your return trip back into town from him, of course. He had a few repeat customers who always showed up at his bar on their first night in town, but none he’d ever been able to convince to agree to him meeting them when they arrived. So waiting for a familiar face to make its way out of customs was an unusual experience. Meeting a man who was not a customer was too.

It’d been two weeks since he’d met Paul. They’d texted, emailed, and once even skyped during their separation. Paul had told Wit more about himself, giving Wit the chance to get to know him better. And in return Wit had told Paul those things about himself he thought Paul wanted to hear. Few of which were true. No problemo. Truth was over-rated; it was one of those things that arrived in its own time. Kinda like Paul’s plane.

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If you’re at Asiatique, Bangkok’s newest tourist trap, the dozen or so almost naked guys on stage for your viewing pleasure may seem like pretty much any night spent on Soi Twilight, but those boys are not there to provide you with a happy ending. If you’re at Asiatique, Bangkok’s newest tourist trap, when fists begin to fly and some poor sucker ends up in a bloody heap, it may not be that you just witnessed the latest expat going mano y mano with the ferris wheel ride operator over the attraction’s dual price structure either. And if you’re at Asiatique, Bangkok’s newest tourist trap, and see Thailand totally trounce Burma again and again, you are either my friend Noom daydreaming about historical events that never were, or you just dropped 1,500 baht to take in the spectacular known as Muay Thai Live: The Legend Lives, aka Asiatique’s newest tourist trap within a tourist trap.

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I love Google. It’s like having the entire set of Encyclopedia Britannica at your finger tips. Well, okay it’s like having the entire set of Encyclopedia Britannica if volumes A through Mecklenburg were written by idiots at your finger tips, but that’s what makes using the popular search engine so much fun. That and the photos of naked guys. But even with the idiots’ input, the internet is still an amazing source of knowledge and information. And whenever some weird thought pops into my mind within 0.27 seconds I can find 3,890,000 results, 10% of which might have something to do with my search term. And another 10% clues me into some even stranger topic that I had no idea of. Like bubbling. Trust me, you don’t want to Google that.

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“I have public hairs bigger than his dick was!”

Helena spewing orange juice all over the table should have clued Chris in that a simple “Good Morning!” would have been a more appropriate greeting. I briefly considered suggesting that a bit of manscaping might be in order, but the look on Chris’ face told me he was not a happy camper. But evidently was a size queen. Chris had started his Thailand holiday swearing that the commercial sex scene was not part of his plan. He was too young and too not bad looking to pay for sex. And then proceeded to indulge in the procurement of a bar boy nightly while we were in Bangkok.

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